So THAT'S How Babies are Made!
R's been on the ball lately with random funny comments. Hopefully I can remember the better half of them. I even wrote a few down in order to remember.
First of all, on Friday I told R what a telemarketer was because there had been one that was calling every night last week. I told her they are people who try to sell you things over the phone and you can tell on is calling if there is a pause when you answer the phone and they usually mis-pronounce your name. With that said, the same telemarketers called yesterday and R just so happened to answer. "Hello?" *silence* "Hello???... No she's not here right now... no... OK buh bye cutie!" *hangs up the phone* "It was one of those telemarket people. I called them cutie!" *laughs hysterically*
R then decides to put on a hula grass skirt and a lei and dance around in the livingroom. She then decides that she is going to spin in circles. She was seriously spinning around in circles for a good 10 minutes without stopping OR getting dizzy. While spinning she says, "Ya know, it keeps ya preeettty occupied if ya sing while you're spinning." She then proceeds to sing, "Knock knock knockin' on Heaven's doooooor.... Do you know that song? It's an oldie!"
After doing something that she shouldn't have been doing, I tell her to stop because she shouldn't be doing that (I can't remember what it was - she does so many crazy things). In a snotty little voice she replies, "I think I'm mature enough to know that."
R can also be a little sick in the head sometimes. For example, we were driving in the car with her mom and out of nowhere Reta states "I wish a dead bird would fall on the car." M (R's mom) replies, "R, did you say a DEAD BIRD?? That's really weird." Then she tried to convince us that she just said bird.. but I heard what she said. Another example was the song she made up while we were walking in the woods one day. It went something like this: "I was walkin down the street and I smelled something gross. It wasn't diarrhea... it wasn't poop... it was a boy... and then I walked into the Halifax Shopping Center and I smelled it again and there was a man with a bloody head...." Something along those lines. At first I thought it was gonna be one of those classic diarrhea songs like from when we were kids. Remember??? "I was walkin down the street and i felt somethin neat... diarrhea!" You know what I'm talkin about... but it turned out to be even sicker than that! haha
After our little walk in the woods, R and H start to play Husband and Wife. They slow dance, they get married and then they move into their new house. "We have to sleep in the same bed," says R. At this point I'm in the kitchen making lunch. Then I hear some oohs and aahs and go into the living room to find R and H on the couch somewhat groping eachother and practically on top of one another. "That's enough of that game," I say and that's the end of that. Then after lunch (it never ends), R and H go behind the couch and duck down. They're giggling, I assume they are telling secrets or something. Then they pop their heads up and R exclaims, "We showed eachother our bums.... and our faginas... now you have to show us yours!" Ummmm... not gonna happen....annnnd don't do that again.
And finally I've heard probably one of the best stories of how babies are made. I'm definitely going to use it next time I get asked. R was in my room trying to find her Christmas gift. After giving up she lies on my bed, and then grabs her legs and was holding them up by her head. Her ass sticking right out. I'm just sitting there, and finally she says, "Ya know, ya got a big swat right there!" referring to her ass. Then she takes it pretty far and starts sayin, "Ya might wanna crack it before you swat it. Crack an egg on it. You might even wanna plant a seed in there... ya know, a baby seed!" So I concluded that her parents must have told her that babies are made by *by planting a baby seed*. I'm definitely gonna use that one... or at least I know what she's been told incase she asks me! heheh
Whooo that was a long one... on a cute lil note, R told her mom she loves me last night! awwwww I feel special :D
First of all, on Friday I told R what a telemarketer was because there had been one that was calling every night last week. I told her they are people who try to sell you things over the phone and you can tell on is calling if there is a pause when you answer the phone and they usually mis-pronounce your name. With that said, the same telemarketers called yesterday and R just so happened to answer. "Hello?" *silence* "Hello???... No she's not here right now... no... OK buh bye cutie!" *hangs up the phone* "It was one of those telemarket people. I called them cutie!" *laughs hysterically*
R then decides to put on a hula grass skirt and a lei and dance around in the livingroom. She then decides that she is going to spin in circles. She was seriously spinning around in circles for a good 10 minutes without stopping OR getting dizzy. While spinning she says, "Ya know, it keeps ya preeettty occupied if ya sing while you're spinning." She then proceeds to sing, "Knock knock knockin' on Heaven's doooooor.... Do you know that song? It's an oldie!"
After doing something that she shouldn't have been doing, I tell her to stop because she shouldn't be doing that (I can't remember what it was - she does so many crazy things). In a snotty little voice she replies, "I think I'm mature enough to know that."
R can also be a little sick in the head sometimes. For example, we were driving in the car with her mom and out of nowhere Reta states "I wish a dead bird would fall on the car." M (R's mom) replies, "R, did you say a DEAD BIRD?? That's really weird." Then she tried to convince us that she just said bird.. but I heard what she said. Another example was the song she made up while we were walking in the woods one day. It went something like this: "I was walkin down the street and I smelled something gross. It wasn't diarrhea... it wasn't poop... it was a boy... and then I walked into the Halifax Shopping Center and I smelled it again and there was a man with a bloody head...." Something along those lines. At first I thought it was gonna be one of those classic diarrhea songs like from when we were kids. Remember??? "I was walkin down the street and i felt somethin neat... diarrhea!" You know what I'm talkin about... but it turned out to be even sicker than that! haha
After our little walk in the woods, R and H start to play Husband and Wife. They slow dance, they get married and then they move into their new house. "We have to sleep in the same bed," says R. At this point I'm in the kitchen making lunch. Then I hear some oohs and aahs and go into the living room to find R and H on the couch somewhat groping eachother and practically on top of one another. "That's enough of that game," I say and that's the end of that. Then after lunch (it never ends), R and H go behind the couch and duck down. They're giggling, I assume they are telling secrets or something. Then they pop their heads up and R exclaims, "We showed eachother our bums.... and our faginas... now you have to show us yours!" Ummmm... not gonna happen....annnnd don't do that again.
And finally I've heard probably one of the best stories of how babies are made. I'm definitely going to use it next time I get asked. R was in my room trying to find her Christmas gift. After giving up she lies on my bed, and then grabs her legs and was holding them up by her head. Her ass sticking right out. I'm just sitting there, and finally she says, "Ya know, ya got a big swat right there!" referring to her ass. Then she takes it pretty far and starts sayin, "Ya might wanna crack it before you swat it. Crack an egg on it. You might even wanna plant a seed in there... ya know, a baby seed!" So I concluded that her parents must have told her that babies are made by *by planting a baby seed*. I'm definitely gonna use that one... or at least I know what she's been told incase she asks me! heheh
Whooo that was a long one... on a cute lil note, R told her mom she loves me last night! awwwww I feel special :D
posted by Ames at
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
4 Comments:
A big SWAT?! what the hell, where did she get that? This kid is fucked Amy O. I love her sick little mind though, hahaha, a dead bird, and then I can so see her being like "shit, they might catch on...uh, I said BIRD, just bird...." Frig, I want to live there haha. On another note, planting baby seeds IS how babies are made...and also, when reading about how Reta spun for 10 minutes I actually got dizzy. Weird.
well...ok...i don't understand this child...
fagina tho..ahahahaha
p.s.- britany smells like dissection
Wow that is so funny about them pretending to be married because on an episode of Weeds I was watching last night, Isabelle and her friend did that.. hahah except they were actually kissing but I guess Reta and friend were actually undressing.. yikes.. lol crazy crazy kid..
Crystal
Heather plants baby seeds in unsuspecting teenage mothers...then leaves them.
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