Una... Brow!

A little collection of funnies from R over the past coupla days:

R has H and C over to go skating. After enjoying an afternoon of skating, they come in for some pizza. So they're sitting there, enjoying their pizza and an observant C notes that, "H your eyebrows go all the way across your forehead!"

H: Yeah, I know.
C: That's weird...
R: Oh yeah, what's it called when your eyebrows do that? *Looks at Amy*
Amy: *Not wanting to draw more attention to H's unibrow* Umm what? I dunno...
R: You know, when someone has just one eyebrow across their forehead!
Amy: Uhhh, no, I dunno *TAKE THE HINT! DROP THE TOPIC!!*
R: unaaaa..... unnaaaa.... UNIBROW! It's called a unibrow
C: Unnaaa -- wha?
R: Unibrow.. like Unicorn.. but with brow at the end
C: Unaaa.. brown?
R: nono.. Say unicorn.. but not with corn
C: Una...
R: Now sayy... BROWNIES.. well brow!
Amy: I think that's enough..
R: Whyyy?
Amy: Soo.. did you guys have fun skating??
Kids: Ohh yeah it was fun! Yeah! etc.

I later told R that it wasn't appropriate to talk about stuff like that, as it could be embarassing to them.

Also, I made the mistake of telling R that some people have a sickness where they pull out their hair and eat it (for some reason it came up. I had remembered it from an episode of Boston Public, back in the day -- good show, I miss it.) Oh right, it came up because I was pretending to yank her hair out, and R said, "Go ahead, do it!" Anyway, she then proceeds to show me that she can rip her own hair out. She yanks one hair out of her head. "Cool, R...." Then she takes a fairly good chunk of her hair and rips it out, no problem. I feel a wave of nausea come over me, cus that was sick. I told her it was gross and to stop and she could see that I was totally grossed out. She grabs an even bigger chunk of hair, "R!!! DON'T!!" She's gonna do it.. I close my eyes, but I can HEAR her rip it out... SICK SICK SICK!!!! *Nauseous* R is loving my reaction to this, and goes to do it again, but I threaten her social life (ie: no friends over tomorrow) and the maddness stops.

On the older side of things, I was in the most awkward position whilst volunteering at the Veteran's unit this weekend.

So I met this new guy this weekend - Ken. When I am sitting across from him, he immediately introduces himself to me and is staring at me pretty much the whole evening. I was up and dancing with one of the vets, Don a few times. It was a good night. Towards the end of the evening, I notice Ken (new guy) start to put his hand down his pants... "Ok, maybe he has an itch," I think to myself. He continues to stare at me over the next what seemed like hours (but was really a few minutes), hands down his pants the entire time. Yeah, it gets worse. He then grabs my hand, after taking his hand outta his pants, and motions for me to come close so he can tell me something. He grunts in a creepy, what can only be described as child-molester voice, and says, "I'd like to get into bed with youu." I lean away and give him a disapproving look. I don't think anybody has ever made me feel so uncomfortable. I had to go and tell my supervisor and we ended up switching seats. But, to give the man the benefit of the doubt, I should tell you that he does have dimensia and what he meant to say could have come out wrong, or something like that. He could have just thought I was pretty and relayed himself that way to me. So, I can't really be mad. But it was still uncomfortable. Back to Don for a sec, the dancer. There were "fast" songs and slow songs playing. When these "fast" (in quotations because they weren't THAT fast, but fast enough that you couldn't waltz, yes waltz) Don would start "fast dancing" - movin around a bit, snapping his fingers and clicking his tongue at me. It was weird - like some sort of animal mating call. Dunno what that was about, but also a bit uncomfortable.

So, even though most of you kids had a week off.. I have these great stories. Beat that. ....